


Rationalization

by Icharus



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 13:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icharus/pseuds/Icharus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They fall together, an accident that keeps happening.</p><p> </p><p>Really, just a small (very small) drabble I wrote for the Sherlock BBC Kink Meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rationalization

The thing was, Anderson loved his wife. Lucy was a schoolteacher who wore cardigans and the pearl set he'd given her for their first anniversary. She was sweet and kind and every time an advert for donations for mistreated animals came on the telly her eyes filled with tears and she snuffled, just once, before turning to Anderson, asking him to confirm just how silly she was being. For Anderson, looking at his wife was like looking at sunshine or clear, clean water: something pure and indisputably good. There were no shadows in Lucy's eyes, no layers to her smile.

But Anderson, he'd made his life of shadows. Every day on the job was a day spent with the worst of humanity; he analyzed it, sampled it, pulled it around him and _breathed it in_ , because that was the only way he knew to make it stop. If he was good enough at his job, there was one more piece of filth for Lestrade to pull off the streets.

There is a small part of Anderson, not often looked at, ridiculed because it is foolish and boyish, that wants the world to be beautiful for Lucy.

He knows there is not one bit of him that lives up to what Lucy sees when she looks at him.

 

Donovan doesn't have much of anyone, just parents who had never been interested in the child they'd borne and a string of casual boyfriends. Everyone left eventually, because she was too overbearing, too strident, too opinionated, too dedicated to her job, too intense. Just _too_.

But it's fine.

The job is enough. Even though the nights she comes home smelling of blood sometimes outnumber the nights she doesn't, and there are images carved into her brain now that come to indelible life when she crawls into the cold, empty bed in her cold, empty flat. All that is part of her now, and it's fine that she will never be someone's pure and optimistic bride because doing the job means that someone else can be.

 

Anderson keeps going to Donovan because she understands. She's looked at the dark and carved out a little piece of her soul to make room for it, just like he has. And when he touches her, he doesn't feel like he's tainting her.

Donovan keeps opening her door because that's what Anderson wants from her. It's all he'll ever want from her. And that's good. She'll never be too much for him because he'll never ask for everything. She's the exact right amount for him, and she's never been that for anybody.

They fall together, an accident that keeps happening. Sherlock can make his observations, dole out the snide remarks and feel superior, but he'll never understand. He never pulled himself apart to make room for the job, never cared that what they do can make life better for someone else or at least bring a balance of justice to a fundamentally unfair world. He's always been different, he doesn't know what it's like to lose normalcy. He may be a genius be he will never understand why they need each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Original posted anonymously here: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/19351.html?thread=115846295#t115846295


End file.
